My Loneliness..........

My lonliness is self inflicted,
I created it within my own thoughts.
I'm not holding people at arms length,
I'm beating them away with a bat.
I can't hold on to someone I never let in, Never really had....
but I can't seem to forget the kindness, patience and kiss.
I have givin so much of myself to these people of the past,
I feel I have just shards left to give.
I reach out to make new friends,
But my voice falters after "Hello".
Social skills gone, the will to trust.... hidden.
How can I recover something that is so far gone?
I am not a solitary person, yet here I sit in a solitary world.
Created by me, my own personal hell.
I continue to reach out for love and draw back a nub,
Friends are losing patience, so is my own mind...
Hold on, hold on, hold on... I'm trying to cure the inside.